Update: Giving Thanks

I think this is the kind of update my readers really like. This is a peek into my soul.

Health update in one sentence: I’m in remission, feeling great, and my immune system still won’t rebound. Doctors are clueless as to why.

That was two sentences. Oops.

Okay, a peek into my soul.

Loving Attention

I love attention so much that it’s possible getting cancer is worth it. I am showered with attention, prayers, votes of confidence, outright praise, and profuse love. It’s overwhelming, and I cry … a lot.

I have to pray all the time that God will show me what’s real about me and not that loving, trumped-up description from my family, both in Jesus and my biological one.

What’s especially embarrassing are compliments about how strong I am and what an inspiration I am. I am so glad to be an inspiration, but I’m embarrassed about being seen as strong. All I am doing to be strong is getting up every morning. I don’t have any choice about enduring the suffering. It just happens. It’s not like I’m self-flagellating.

This next session may give you an idea.

Depression

A side of effect of either cancer or chemo is depression. It is POWERFUL. It’s only been a couple weeks since I laid in bed thinking, “I am wasting air that an actual healthy, useful, brave, decent person could be breathing.”

On days like that I feel like a fraud. Yes, the ferocious lack of energy and seeming lack of air is real, but I’m lying in a warm bed, served by my wife and children, able to eat whenever I want. Yet I’m struggling to pray, struggling to keep my eyes on my Savior. My mind wanders from one thing to the next, drifing in and out of sleep.

In the midst of that, people pat me on the back for strength and commitment to God.

I did learn to open my mouth. When I was so tired that I could not get up, I would pray quietly, in my head, and my mind wandered endlessly away from the Lord. It took a couple weeks to realize I should just open my mouth. Say the words out loud. Stay focused.

That worked pretty well.

Oh, this section was about depression. On some days the depression was so strong I didn’t even try to pray. I just hid from my thoughts. I don’t know how to describe that. In my mind, I picture ducking down out of my head down into my body and letting the frightening thoughts buzz around unnoticed.

Sometimes God met me there with great peace. That made me cry, too. Sometimes he didn’t meet me.

I’m an American

Some days in February I felt so bad that I just prayed for the terrible feelings to go away. Think bad flu that seems like it will never leave. Getting out of bed to go to the bathroom left me panting like I’d run a fast mile.

I feel like I got an answer right from the mouth of God: “Life is not about your comfort.”

That was salvation for me. I thought about the sex slave trade, kids that are kidnapped for the purpose of smuggling drugs sewn into their stomachs, children foraging in the dumps in Africa for food. I felt very American (proud, stupid, selfish, wimpy, spoiled, etc.).

Being American can make you blind.

Fear

The last week or so, while I have felt so good, I’ve run across a lot of teaching about sharing the Gospel, both in action and in words.

What I’ve really wanted to do, however, is get back to writing. I was too sick in February to sit at my computer, and since I got some energy back, I’ve been busy serving other people. (Please excuse whatever pride is in that statement; it’s true.) I haven’t had time to really sit down and write.

So yesterday, I’m at my local hematologist to get my blood counts checked. Afterward, as I’m waiting for my counts to come back, I sit down in a waiting room next to a black guy who is looking down at the floor.

If you don’t live in the South, you may not know how alive and well racism is. I’ve read a lot about studies that have been done and how the whole racist atmosphere affects the mindset, the self-esteem, of blacks all over the US.

So I sit down next to this guy and give him a cheery hello. I look at him, intent on treating him like a human being, not someone from the other side of the tracks. He looked back at me and responded just as cheerily. He lifted his head, and he seemed to have more energy.

So … I wasn’t really sure what to say next, so I opened my computer and took the waiting time to answer some emails.

I got lost in my computer, and it wasn’t until I left that I realized what I had done. I was so convicted I wanted to crawl under my SUV rather than into it.

Yes, I’m awkward with strangers, but if I had endured that awkwardness for a few seconds, I would have realized that I was in a hematology clinic! I could have asked him what he was being treated for. I could have talked about trusting God. (Everyone in Memphis, no matter how they live their normal lives, is trusting God and praying when they have a blood disease or a blood cancer. This is the Bible belt.)

I didn’t. I am still horrified.

High Praise

In the last couple months, I have had two missionaries tell me that they read everything I write. One said he didn’t care about reviews of my books, all he cared about was that my name was on the cover.

Wow. I love the fact that I can encourage two men that I look up to as heroes of the faith.

Fear, depressing, endurance, keeping my eyes on Jesus, not keeping my eyes on Jesus, failing, succeeding. I don’t know how to get off that path, but I do know that “his mercies are new every morning.” I’m not missing anyone the next time I’m at the hematology lab. That pain was sharper than the hemorrhoids that chemo tends to give me.

That’s probably not the greatest finish to a blog post, but I’m done. (I was going to say it wasn’t the greatest end to a blog post, but I was scared it would be read as a pun.)

Posted in Holiness, Leukemia, Miscellaneous | Tagged , , , , , | 11 Comments

Health Update

Nothing about either of my blood cancer bouts has been normal or predictable. I am getting scared to give news because, good or bad, I’m probably going to contradict it in a couple days.

In this case, the good news from my last post remains good news. I am in remission from leukemia. A bit of bad news also turned into good news. When I went to Vanderbilt on Tuesday for round 5 of chemo, my white blood cell counts were way down, and my neutrophils—the part of the immune system that fights bacteria—were basically at zero. As a result, Vanderbilt’s doctors gave up on giving me any more chemo. “The PET scan says you’re in remission, we’ve given you a round since the PET scan, let’s not beat up your body any worse than we have.”

They sent me home with a drug called neupogen that boosts blood counts, still not really knowing why my counts were down.

I took four doses, one each Tuesday through Friday. Then Friday evening, I started getting nauseous, then vomiting, and my temperature started climbing.

Off to the emergency room again. My wife complains that I always choose a weekend to go to the emergency room. It’s the only consistency we have had in either the leukemia or the lymphoma adventures. It’s always Friday night or Saturday when I go to the emergency room; always.

Weird, huh?

“Weird” is the word the infectious disease doctor (IDD) used today talking to me. She saw me three or four weeks ago for a week-long fever. The cause was never discovered, but she played with antibiotics for a week until one worked. She sent me home on that, and we kept the fever at bay for three weeks or so until day before yesterday.

This fever broke Saturday morning. I feel great and energetic, but the IDD wants to know what’s happening to me. We don’t really know that my blood counts will stay up. I have had blood-boosting shots, really powerful ones, the last five days. It will take a few days to know if my body can sustain my counts on its own.

So here’s the plan. I get some sort of scan tomorrow that the IDD called a “PET scan without a PET scan.” She says that if the scan comes back negative, “Maybe you’ll have recurring fevers for the rest of your life.”

I hope she was joking.

Posted in Leukemia | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Update

You may have noticed that I haven’t posted in a month. That’s probably good, as my last two posts, as far as positive responses, were about the best I’ve ever written, apparently. Keep your eyes on Jesus and your mind on spiritual things, it works.

I have been very sick since the last two posts. As you may know, I’m being treated for lymphoma. I am supposed to receive six rounds of chemotherapy, five days each round, with a two-week break in between to recover. Each chemo round was scheduled exactly three weeks after the previous one.

Round Four

I got good news during round four, which started January 28. The radiologist who reads the PET scans said that the remnant of lymphoma that the cancer doctors thought they saw wasn’t lymphoma. It’s “reactive tissue.” I don’t know what that is, but I do know it means the PET scan found no cancer.

That was the good news. February 2 I went home from round four, and I felt remarkably well compared to previous rounds for two or three days. On February 5, I had my blood counts checked, and the next day the lab called to say my white blood cell count was zero. I needed to take “neutropenic precautions.”

I was surprised, as that hadn’t happened any other rounds. It wasn’t alarming, though, as neutropenia is always a possibility with chemo. Usually, we avoid it because the doctors give me medicine (“neulasta”) so that my blood counts recover quickly.

“Neutropenic” means that I’m low on neutrophils, the part of the immune system that fights bacteria. When a patient is neutropenic, he must wear a surgical mask every time he goes out, stay away from everything uncooked, even fruits and vegetables, and even keep fresh flowers out of the house.

Fever

On Saturday, Feb. 6 (I think) my temperature went up to 101, even though I felt pretty good. Doctor’s orders are, go to the emergency room for any fever over 100.3.

We went.

It took a week to find the right antibiotic to get my fever down. Maybe it was five days, maybe it was twelve. All I remember for sure was that they released me on a Thursday, then I was right back at the emergency room on a Saturday, throwing up and dizzy.

They told me I was dehydrated, gave me a liter of saline solution by IV and sent me home.

Funny story here. That Saturday night that I was dehydrated, the doctor came in my room. She was a very lovely lady in a sleeveless evening dress and pumps. She had a badge and stethoscope, and she clearly knew what she was doing, but no lab coat at all. I wondered if I was in a movie.

The nurse told me that doctor always comes to work dressed like that. After she left, the nurse said, “Of course, I might dress like that, too, if I had her figure.”

Round 5 Postponed

They sent me home, and the date I do remember is Feb. 25. I went back to Nashville, to Vanderbilt, to get round 5 of chemo.

I really didn’t feel much better than I had way back on Feb. 6 when I went in for the fever. Standing up made me somewhat breathless, and sometimes my arms would feel numb and tingly. It would carry into my shoulders, too.

Surprisingly, I could walk it off. I didn’t like it, as I felt short of breath for two or three minutes, but if I kept walking, I would feel pretty normal, even though it made me breathe like I had sprinted a hundred-yard dash.

When I got to Vanderbilt on Feb. 25, I was able to walk the length of the hospital and back, a good half mile, but I still felt out of breath whenever I stood up.

When I got to the doctor’s office, expecting to be admitted for chemo, the nurse walked in and said, “How are you doing?”

Out of sheer habit, I said, “Doing good. How about you?”

Meg, the nurse, stared at me like I was being a snot. Then I realized I’m supposed to be giving a real assessment.

I tried, but she gave a better one. “You look terrible. You don’t have the pep you always have when you come in. Worse, your counts have dropped back to zero. You’re neutropenic. What happened?”

Somehow, I felt like it was all my fault. I started pleading a case about how I was trying to walk every day, and I was making sure to drink more than a half gallon of fluid even though I wasn’t thirsty or hungry.

She stopped me to tell me they would figure out what was wrong. My dropping blood counts really puzzled them, and they felt terrible that I was feeling so bad. “I promise,” the doctor said when she came in, “We are going to help you feel better.”

Flu

They stuck me in the hospital, not for chemo, and within two days had diagnosed me with flu-A. They prescribed me Tamiflu and sent me home on Saturday, Feb. 28, to rest and recover. They told me they would give me round five of chemo when my counts recovered as long as I felt better.

Finally! Recovery!

Yesterday, two days after they sent me home, I felt (more) normal for the first time. Today, I felt so good I drove my kids to their corporate classes (part of a home-school co-op). Now I’m at Starbucks, actually typing on my blog!

My neutrophils had risen to 460 when they released me this last Saturday. At 500 I am not “neutropenic” anymore. Yesterday, a local lab checked my blood, and I am up over 800, and all my other blood counts rose as well.

It is so nice to have some energy after four weeks of breathlessness and fatigue.

The Immediate Future

I suspect that next week on Wednesday, when I should have been getting round six–that last round–I will go in for round five. Knowing that the last four weeks were the product of infection and flu, not just the rigors of chemo, has lessened my fear of the last two rounds. I am now looking forward to completing this course of treatment and putting lymphoma behind me … Lord willing.

I’m looking forward to sitting in the Doc’s office at Vanderbilt, smiling and with some pep in my step. Both the doc and her nurse seemed horrified at the beat-up, stooped-over, old guy that was sitting in their office on the 25th.

So that’s my February story, and that is why there have been no posts. When I have been able to get on my computer, which was only once or twice, I spent my time clearing my email box.

I will almost certainly avoid posting until I see what round five does to me. Again, I would assume that round five will start a week from today, on March 11. So you won’t hear from me the first half of March, either.

I did answer most of my web site and blog emails yesterday. I’ll try to answer the rest today. There are only four or five left.

Further Updates

I will try to give brief updates on Facebook. My Facebook account has some personal stuff on it because I do have friends and family, but it was primarily opened to talk about Jesus, his authority, and the Gospel. Unless your page is creepy or empty, I generally accept all friend requests because, again, the purpose of my FB page is the Gospel, not personal.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed over the last month. I was honestly wondering if I was going to die, and the effort needed to keep my eyes on Jesus and to pray was not small.

Sickness like that dumps a huge depression on the mind. Jesus can help us with that, but the temptation to just sink into complaints and self-pity is tremendous. I learned to just open my mouth and talk to my loving Father no matter how I felt or what I wanted to do.

I also learned to open my mouth and mention others, not myself. Nothing increases depression like focusing on one’s own problems. Perhaps all the misery of February was worth it just to learn how far I am from real selflessness.

I think my favorite passage in February was: “Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.” It was very comforting.

Posted in Leukemia | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Escaping the Corruption That Is in the World Through Lust

In the last post we talked about the promise of the Gospel: because of grace sin will no longer have power over us, and we will escape the corruption that is in the world through lust. We talked about the fact that this is not a heart-stopping, frightening requirement of the Gospel, but that it is a thrilling, happy, and central benefit of the Gospel.

But we also talked about the fact that many or most Christians have no idea how to actually obtain that benefit.

UP FRONT NOTE: Do Christians sin? Yes! The more you grow, the more sin you find inside yourself. Things that were not sin when you were a young Christian become sin for you as a mature Christian, assuming you are growing in the way I describe below. The mature Christian walks in the light, and the blood of King Jesus washes away his sin and provides him fellowship, both with Jesus, the head in the heavens, and the church, his body on earth (1 Jn. 1:7).

I have now answered the question, do Christians sin? Please DO NOT interpret anything that follows as meaning that Christians receive a sudden impartation of sinless perfection. Please DO NOT interpret anything that follows as meaning that Christians do not need forgiveness of sin on an ongoing basis. Please DO NOT interpret anything that follows as meaning you are required to be perfect.

Please DO interpret what follows as meaning that you can live a life marked by obedience to Jesus and the fruit of the Spirit. DO interpret it to mean that, with the help of the family of God (Heb. 3:13), you can overcome those “pet” and “besetting” sins that damage your relationship with God and others.

My Target Audience

All of what follows is written to those who know that Jesus is God’s Anointed King and have submitted to him in baptism, burying their old lives there and rising to a new life in Jesus. If that has not happened to you, then none of the following will apply. You need to first believe the Gospel that Jesus is the King, the Son of the Living God. You also need to be baptized in surrender to King Jesus.

Reckon/Believe

In Romans 6:11, Paul tells us to “reckon” that we are dead to sin and alive to God in King Jesus. He tells us a little earlier in the chapter that this death and resurrection happened in baptism, whether we knew it or not (“Do you not know?”—v. 3).

There are some things we need to know are true. We need to agree with God that they are true, whether we knew them before or not. We died to sin in our baptismal burial. We rose to new life in King Jesus in that burial.

We all long to be like Paul, who said, “Nevertheless I live, yet not I, but God’s Messiah King lives in me” (Gal. 2:20). We think Paul is special because he lived like this.

Paul didn’t think so, however. He was just doing what he told us to do. Reckon. Regard yourself, because Jesus said so, as dead to sin and alive to God in King Jesus. Here’s where Paul told us that’s what he was doing:

[We have] concluded this, that one died for all, therefore everyone died. (2 Cor. 5:15)

Paul told us in Romans 6:11 to write it down that it is as true for us as it was for him. We are dead to sin and alive to God in King Jesus. Here in 2 Corinthians, he is telling us that he concludes it as true for every man that is “in the King” (v. 16), it is true that they are new creations, dead with Jesus in his death, and risen—a new creation—in baptism.

To appropriate the grace of redemption, our starting point is to believe that Jesus is God’s Anointed King, proven to be so by the resurrection from the dead, be baptized in his name, receive the Holy Spirit, and then regard (reckon) it as true that we were buried and arose to a new life in Jesus in baptism.

That’s the starting point. No real time span is involved in that last paragraph. Most of you are ready to start there.

Being ready, here is what it means to go on, to walk in the Spirit, and to see and reap the benefits of grace.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

If you have not been able, in the past, to live like Paul did, not in the flesh, but letting King Jesus live through you, then all the above should transform your way of thinking about yourself.

You regard yourself as crucified with the King, who died for everyone. You judge as Paul judged, that if he died for everyone, then everyone died. You should be reckoning what Paul told you to reckon, that you are dead to sin and alive to God in King Jesus.

If that is true, God has given us one main command to change everything we do … just one.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.

This is written everywhere:

  • Look to Jesus … Consider him … (Heb. 12:2-3)
  • … that the righteousness of the Law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For those that are after the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those that are after the Spirit [mind] the things of the Spirit. (Rom. 8:4-5)
  • For though we walk according to the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not fleshly, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down reasonings and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the King. (2 Cor 10:3-5)
  • Though our outward man is perishing, yet our inward man is being renewed daily, for our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us an eternal weight of glory, while we look, not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. (2 Cor. 4:16b-18)
  • If you are risen with the King, seek those things which are above, where the King is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your thoughts on things above, not on things on the earth, for you are dead, and your life is hidden with the King in God.

You see the point. Too often we battle the flesh by dwelling on the flesh. “How will I overcome this jealousy? I will think about this situation I am jealous about, and I will try to forgive, and to stop being jealous.”

We all know this does not work. It doesn’t work for jealousy, for anger, for lust, for greed, for envy, for division, or for anything else. We have to get our mind off the things of the flesh, and we need to set our minds on Jesus.

First and foremost, escaping the corruption that is in the world through lust entails setting our minds on things above.

In fact, as we saw above, Paul equates walking in the Spirit with setting our minds on spiritual things (Rom. 8:5-6). He goes on to say that the mind set on the flesh is death and cannot please God, while the mind set on the Spirit, that is, on spiritual things, things which cannot be seen, is life and peace.

How do we grow into the image of the Lord? “We all, with open face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image, from glory to glory, as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Cor. 3:18).

We have one job, and that is turn our eyes to Jesus all the time.

Warfare

In the quotes above, we touched on warfare. Paul said he had weapons that were not carnal that he used to “bring every thought into captivity to the King.”

I don’t think Paul was talking about his own thoughts. He was battling for the churches, getting their minds where they were supposed to be. You can see it in his letters, fighting against the Judaizers, who would bring the church under the Law, which is powerless to overcome the sin in the flesh. He wanted the churches walking in the Spirit, empowered by thoughts that focused on things above, not on the things of the earth.

Let no one judge you in regard to food or drink or in regard to a holy day or the new moon or the Sabbath, which are a shadow of things to come. The body [that casts the shadow] belongs to the King. Let no man beguile you from your reward … not holding fast to the head … Therefore, if you are dead with the King to the elementary things of the world, why, as though you live in the world, do you subject yourself to decrees—don’t touch, don’t taste, don’t handle; which are destined to perish with misuse—after the commandments and teachings of men? These things have an appearance of wisdom in worship of the will, humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no use against the indulgence of the flesh. If then, your risen with the King, seek those things which are above, where the King sits at the right hand of God. (Col. 2:16-3:1)

Paul devoted himself to helping the churches keep their minds set on the right things. As he told the Galatians, “Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” (Gal. 3:3).

We, too, have to enter this as a battle. Contrary to what we are often told, this setting our mind on the things of the Spirit does not happen automatically, but takes diligent and consistent choosing.

Peter tells us that great and precious promises lead us to deliverance from the corruption that is in the world through lust (2 Pet. 1:3-4), but knowing that, he tells us, “Giving all diligence, add to your faith moral excellence …”

While Peter doesn’t specifically say, “Set your mind on the Spirit to accomplish this,” he does tell us that the ones who are not doing this are “blind and cannot see far.” They have “forgotten that they were purged from their old sins.”

We have to be looking at things above, where Jesus is, all the time. We cannot forget that we are “dead to sin and alive to God in King Jesus.” If we are going to remember, it is because we are “giving all diligence.”

In his first letter, he tells us that the devil is always out to get us, trying to sway us from that holy course upon which God has set us. Paul tells us one of the way he does that is by getting us to focus on “don’t touch, don’t taste, don’t handle” rather than on Jesus. Peter tells us to resist him, “steadfast in the faith.”

Where is our faith? Our faith is in the King, and if we will keep our eyes on him, the devil will not be able to triumph.

The Church

This is as important as everything else I have written. It is not an addition, at the end, a nice boost to the individual practice of walking in the Spirit.

Earlier, when I quoted the last part of Colossians 2 through Colossians 3:1, I left out a passage because it was important enough to require its own section. That passage concerns those false teachers, who do not hold fast to the head, and it is found in 2:19:

… and not holding fast to the head, from which the whole body is supplied by joints and ligaments, and knit together, grows with a growth from God.

At the ground level of the church, we need each other for exhortation. The devil goes around like a roaring lion, looking for people to devour, just as he once looked to devour Jesus, which, of course, he could not do. What he tried, though, was to get Jesus to get his eyes on himself. “You are the Son of God. You’re hungry, so prove you’re the Son of God by turning this stone to beread.” When that didn’t work, he tried to get Jesus to care about glory for himself or to prove that God would take special care of him.

Each time, Jesus turned not only back to Scripture, but to his Father. I only worship the Father. I don’t tempt the Father. The Father’s words are the only food I need.

The writer of Hebrews tells us that we need to exhort one another so that sin doesn’t deceive our hearts. Jesus was too much for the devil, but alone it is likely that we are not. We will think we are doing God a service, praying in faith, when in fact we are tempting God, or seeking in prayer to fulfill our own lusts, or pursuing our own glory by acts of miraculous power.

But Colossians 2:19 takes it even farther. Not only do we need each other’s exhortation to keep our eyes on Jesus, not deceived into serving ourselves, but we grow together.

Do you see the body parts that are mentioned in Colossians 2:19? Paul mentions joints and ligaments, and he mentions them in Ephesians 4:16, where he again tells us that we grow togther as each part does its share. But in both cases, Ephesians 4:16 and Colossians 2:19, the supply for growth comes from the joints and ligaments.

A joint is not a body part. A joint is the joining of two body parts. Ligaments are holding body parts together.

You are a body part of the body of our Lord Jesus. You are not a joint or a ligament, however. You do not hold body parts together. Something else hold body parts together. Paul tells us what that something is in the next chapter.

Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. (Col. 3:17)

We need each other. We have to exhort one another (Heb. 3:13). We have to consider one another, so that we provoke one another to love and good works (Heb. 10:24,25). However, if we are going to grow with a growth that is from God, then we must grow together, and the supply for that growth will be in the joints, in the perfect bond that unites: love.

By this will all men know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (Jn. 13:35)

The Imperfection of This Teaching

The things I have written here can transform the way you think about Christianity, about Jesus, and about yourself. Into the 2,700 words of this blog post, I have tried to pack practical, effective teaching, all taught to me by others, and all of which I have seen work.

As a mentor has told me repeatedly, however, salvation is not a plan, but a Man.

If what I have written above is a plan or formula, it will fail you. If you put these things into practice along with others who pursue righteousness, faith, peace, and love from a pure heart, then it will not fail you. The words of God will feed you, and the members of Jesus around you will stabilize you.

I am absolutely certain that I have missed important concepts. I am certain that I have said some things poorly. I am certain that everything you need for life and godliness is not going to be supplied by 2,700 words in a blog post.

I am also certain that if you reckon as true what God has said about you, seek first the kingdom of God, letting the other things that draw your attention fall away, and if you join yourself to those who pursue love, righteousness, faith, and peace out of a pure heart, that you will find the One to whom you look, Jesus the Savior King, to be mighty to save.

Posted in Gospel, Holiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Goodness and Severity of God

Behold!

Behold the goodness and the severity of God.

On those who fell: severity. On you: goodness.

If

If you continue in his goodness. Otherwise, you’ll be cut off as a branch from the tree of God like the Jews were in the first century. —Romans 11:21-22

Our first encounter with King Jesus is often an encounter with his severity. As many of you know who have read this blog, the only clear description of the coming Messiah that actually uses the word “Messiah” is Psalm 2. There we find that the Lord God and his Messiah face the rebellion of the nations. We find also that God’s reaction is both fierce and strong. He holds them in derision; he speaks to them with wrath; and he terrifies them with his fierce anger. He tells the kings of the earth to be wise and serve the Lord with fear and rejoice … with trembling. They should kiss the Son, the Messiah whom the Lord God has begotten, in order to avoid his anger.

Before the joy comes the fear.

The apostles were clearly influenced by Psalm 2. Not only did Peter proclaim, by the revelation of the Father, that Jesus was “the Messiah [Christ], the Son of the living God,” something only revealed in Psalm 2, but on the day of Pentecost, he proclaimed the Messiah in much the same way as Psalm 2 does.

[Jesus of Nazareth], being delivered by the decided counsel and foreknowledge of God, you have taken and crucified and slain with wicked hands … This Jesus God has raised up … Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly that God has made this same Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah. (Acts 2:23,32,36)

As you might imagine might happen when you find out that you have killed the one that God has said to kiss to avoid his anger, the Jews were “cut to the heart.” In other words, they were terrified. They were not looking forward to God’s derision, nor to being terrified in his fierce anger.

“What must we do?”

It is here that those who are stricken by the severity of God find the goodness of the Great King.

Peter doesn’t use the word “believe” in Acts 2, but the words he does use are the definition of “just believe.”

Repent. Repent does not mean a simple change of mind unaccompanied by action. When Paul spoke of calling the nations to repentance, he demanded of them “works suitable to repentance” (Acts 26:20), just as John the Baptist had before him (Matt. 3:8).

Be baptized in the name of Jesus, the Messiah King. We are far too prone to using “Christ” as Jesus’ last name. Peter had just told these Jews that resurrection established that Jesus was both Lord and Christ/Messiah. Not only was he Lord and Messiah, but they had killed him! God had to raise him from the dead so that he could rule over them.

Being baptized in the name of Jesus, the Christ, was an act of belief. Peter had announced Jesus as the Messiah, the begotten Son of God that Psalm 2 said would reign over the nations, the Son that must be kissed lest he be angry. To be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ—God’s Messiah King—was to accept the Gospel, the announcement that Jesus is the Ruler of all, the Judge of the living and the dead.

Believe that terrifying proclamation of the severity of God—that Jesus is the Messiah, the King that will rule the nations, break them with a rod of iron, and smash them like a piece of pottery—acknowledge him as King by being baptized, and you move from the severity to the goodness of God.

And you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

The gift of the Holy Spirit? Yes, the Holy Spirit. Earlier in his sermon, Peter had announced the arrival of the New Covenant by declaring that those in the upper room had received the promise God made through Joel that all God’s people would receive the Holy Spirit. From the least to the greatest, from fathers and mothers to slaves and handmaidens, all would receive the Holy Spirit, prophesy, see visions, and dream dreams.

The last days had arrived, and with them came the New Covenant, where no one would have to tell his neighbor “know the Lord” because they all would know him from the least to the greatest (Jer. 31:31-34).

All they had to do was call on him as Lord (Acts 2:21).

For those who surrendered in fear at the announcement of the King who would judge all the earth, there was entrance by baptism into “the goodness of the Lord.”

For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. Not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord, Jesus the Messiah King, by whom we have received the restoration to favor. (Rom. 5:10-11)

The καταλλαγη, the restoration to favor with God, is an entrance into the incredible life of God. It is not simply forgiveness. It is the right to enter the court of the King of the Universe with boldness (Heb. 4:16). It is to become a son or daughter of God with all the privileges that entails:

Behold the kind of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God! (1 Jn. 3:1)

We are no longer citizens of this world, but citizens of God’s heavenly kingdom (Php. 3:20).

Those are big and exciting words.

But what do they mean?

Paul makes a really odd statement in Romans 5 before telling us more fully about our restoration to favor before God.

By him we also have access by faith into this grace by which we stand. (Rom. 5:2)

By what grace do we stand? What does that even mean?

Paul tells us something very similar in Ephesians 2:

For by grace you are in a state of being saved, through faith, and that is not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not of works, so that no one will boast. (Eph.2:8-9)

What is this gift of God? We know from Greek’s use of gender that Paul is not referring to grace or faith as the gift of God. He is referring to being saved. That is the gift of God.

That gift of God is “by grace.” It is “through faith,” which tells us just what Romans 5 tells us. Through faith, we have access to grace, and this is a huge and important thing, because by grace we are saved.

Nowadays we generally assume that being saved means going to heaven. That’s not a correct assumption. Being saved is something much bigger.

  • Sin will not have power over you because you not under law, but under grace. (Rom. 6:14)
  • The grace of God, the grace that saves all men, has appeared, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present age, looking for that blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus the Messiah King, who gave himself for us so that he might redeem us from all iniquity and purify for himself his own special people, zealous for good works.

Jesus died to obtain a people zealous for good works, but for far too many people, grace is a reason to be careless, or even negative(!), about good works.

According to his divine power, he has given us all things that concern life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to glory and moral excellence. Through [the knowledge of him] are given to us great and precious promises, that by these you might be partakers of the divine nature [whoo hoo!], having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. (2 Pet. 1:3-4)

Grace has removed sin’s power over us. The grace that brings salvation has appeared, and grace itself teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts, to live sensible, righteous, godly lives, and to long in blessed hope for the glorious appearing of the great God and Savior who gave himself for us so that he would have a people zealous for good works. His great and precious promises have delivered us from the corruption that is in the world through lust.

Formerly, when all we had were rules and law and conscience, we were slaves to the sin that is in our body. When we knew to do right, we could not do it. We cried out in despair, wondering how we could possible be delivered from this body of death (Rom. 7:24).

The Law couldn’t do it. All it did was awaken sin in our body. Sin drove us to disobedience, and disobedience produced death in us. We were hopeless.

But thanks be to God for our Lord Jesus, God’s Messiah King! What the Law could not do, God did through his Son! (Rom. 8:3-4).

Great and precious promises allow us to partake of the divine nature and escape the corruption that is in the world through lust! Grace teaches us to deny those worldly lusts! Grace removes sin’s power!

This is the goodness that God has given us!

For by grace we are in a state of being saved, through faith, and that not from ourselves. It is the gift of God, not of works, so that no one will be able to boast. For we are his workmaship, created in God’s Messiah King, Jesus, for good works that God has prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:8-10)

Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus, God’s Messiah King, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit … And with many other words he exhorted them to be saved from this perverse generation. (Acts 2:38,40)

We are prone to seeing these incredible promises of deliverance from sin as the requirement of the Gospel rather than the benefit of the Gospel.

One of the main reasons for this wrong view of deliverance from the corruption that is in the world through lust is that many (most?) of us do not know how to obtain that deliverance, despite the fact that it is a central (the central?) promise of the Gospel.

I have literally waited decades to be able to say something like this:

In the next post, we will look at how to use God’s great and precious promises to walk in the divine nature and escape the corruption that is in the world through lust.

I have literally waited decades to say something like that because until recently I have not known how to give such advice and expect it to work. Lots of people tried to tell me the secret, which is not supposed to be a secret, but no one had the words that would let me obtain the promise that sin would not have power over me.

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An Ancient Theologian explains Tradition

I loved this post! Thank you to Dead Heroes Don’t Save!

MikeB's avatarDead Heroes Don't Save

Irenaeus, a 2nd century theologian, defended Christianity from the Gnostic philosophies that were popular at the time. His 5 volume work, Against Heresies, dedicates the first two volumes to describing the Gnostic views and then precedes to dismantle them in the remaining volumes.

saint_irenaeus_oflyonsThroughout the work we are invited to explore the fundamental beliefs of the early church as they are contrasted with the opposing system.

Underlying Irenaeus’ defense lies the questions: how do we know what the truth is? and how do we decide between different interpretations of Scripture?

The heretics did not just offer a different worldview. They were using Scriptures to uphold their ideas – which centered on two gods – a good one and an evil one. It was the evil god who created the physical world that we must rid ourselves of.

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Atonement: Part IV (I think)

I realized today that Isaiah tells a similar story to the one I told in my Tackling the Atonement post.

I’m using the NASB today. This is Isaiah 59:16-21:

And He saw that there was no man,
And was astonished that there was no one to intercede;
Then His own arm brought salvation to Him,
And His righteousness upheld Him.
17 He put on righteousness like a breastplate,
And a helmet of salvation on His head;
And He put on garments of vengeance for clothing
And wrapped Himself with zeal as a mantle.
18 According to their deeds, so He will repay,
Wrath to His adversaries, recompense to His enemies;
To the coastlands He will make recompense.
19 So they will fear the name of the Lord from the west
And His glory from the rising of the sun,
For He will come like a rushing stream
Which the wind of the Lord drives.
20 “A Redeemer will come to Zion,
And to those who turn from transgression in Jacob,” declares the Lord.
21 “As for Me, this is My covenant with them,” says the Lord: “My Spirit which is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your offspring, nor from the mouth of your offspring’s offspring,” says the Lord, “from now and forever.”

This passage builds up from God who is going to rescue his people, not just from enemies, but from the sin that keeps getting them in trouble, and then climaxes with the introduction of the new covenant. Everyone will have the Spirit, and the promise will be to your children and to all who are afar off (Acts 2:38).

In this passage God’s wrath is falling on his enemies. He is conquering those who have held us in bondage. In the end, he gives a condition to be a part of the rewards obtained by this Redeemer he is sending. It is the same reward we have looked at previously: repentance. He comes to those who “turn from transgression in Jacob.”

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Atonement: Part Three (I Think)

It is very hard to just step back and look at a doctrine so important to the faith as the atonement. I am always looking for ways to get my readers to hear what I am saying, to somehow not infuse the “paid penalty” theory into everything they hear.

If I haven’t been clear, the “paid penalty” or “penal substitution” theory of the atonement is false and sends thousands or millions of people to hell because they are never taught that unless they sow to the Spirit throughout their lives, not growing weary in doing good, they will perish … eternally.

Today, I read a post on the atonement that puzzled me. The first part of post sounded like an argument for my position and against penal substitution, yet he drew far different conclusions than I.

Then, in one of his paragraphs, I had an “aha” moment:

Sinners stand before God alone. They incur God’s wrath, God’s judgment. Unless someone or something comes along to make recompense for the misdeeds done by humanity, all face destruction at the hands of God.

Herein lies the real problem. Is it really true that the only remedy to sinners incurring God’s wrath is for someone to make recompense for the misdeeds done by humanity? Is that what God is like?

If that nation, against whom I have spoken, turn from their evil, I will repent of the evil I thought to do to them. (Jer. 18:8)

Thus says the Lord, “Stand in the court of the Lord’s house and speak to all the cities of Judah which come to the Lord’s house. Of all the words that I command you to speak, do not diminish a single word. Perhaps they will listen, and every man will turn from his evil way, so that I may repent of the evil which I purposed toward them for the evil of their deeds. (Jer. 26:2-3)

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the righteous man his thoughts, and let him return to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. (Isa. 55:7)

Again, when I say to the wicked, “You shall surely die,” if he will turn from his sin and do what is lawful and right … he shall surely live, he shall not die. None of his sins that he committed will be mentioned to him. He has done what is right and good; he will surely live. (Ezek. 33:14-16)

Are we prepared to say the prophets were wrong or that God was lying? According to these passages, God didn’t need a sacrifice. A good dose of repentance and obedience was what he was looking for.

There is another alternative to making recompense for all of humanity’s evil deeds. The alternative is to repent and stop doing them!

I know what you’re going to say. Mankind, as a slave to sin, can’t repent and stop sinning. The whole world is silenced before God as sinners.

Thus, the whole world lies in need of the gift of repentance. Jesus died to change our end of the equation, not God’s.

Let us attend to what is good, pleasing, and acceptable in the sight of him who formed us. Let us look steadfastly to the blood of Christ and see how precious that blood is to God, which, having been shed for our salvation, has set the grace of repentance before the whole world. Let us turn to every age that has passed and learn that, from generation to generation, the Lord has granted a place of repentance to all who would be converted to him. (1 Clement 7. AD 95-96)

The purpose was that once we were convinced that we are unworthy to attain life through our own works, it would now, by the kindness of God, be bestowed on us. Once it became obvious that in ourselves we were unable to enter the kingdom of God, the power of God could then make us able. (Letter to Diognetus 9. AD 80-130)

Do you get it? God resolved the issue on our end, not on his. Let me help you with that idea.

The Wrath of God Is Still Upon ALL the Disobedient

If what was needed was a “recompense for the misdeeds done by humanity,” then there are two possible ways to do that. One, Jesus could have died for all the sins that were past, in which case all our sins are building up and Jesus’ sacrifice will have to be a continual one. I think there are people who believe this.

The other method would be for Jesus’ death to appease God’s wrath for all sins, or at least for Christians’ sins, whether past, present, and future. I think most evangelicals believe this.

As I’ve pointed out in the previous posts, that didn’t happen. We are still threatened with wrath. We can be barred from the Kingdom of God for certain sins if we continue in them (Gal. 5:19-21). In fact, Paul seems to be specifically warning us that if Christians behave like the sons of disobedience, then they will receive the wrath of God just like the sons of disobedience (Eph. 5:5-8). He says not to be deceived about this.

If we walk in the flesh, we can inherit death rather than eternal life (Rom. 8:12-13; Gal. 6:7-9). I don’t see how the wrath of God can be said to be appeased for all past, present, and future sins if we are still threatened with eternal death for living in the flesh.

Instead, what the Scripture teach is what we saw the early church fathers teaching above. God provided for our end of the bargain. He made a way for us to live in repentance.

I’m going to give you a Scripture, but think about this a moment. Is it really possible for Jesus to have reconciled God and man without man being delivered from his sin and living righteously? God was suddenly going to be okay with sin because he got to vent his wrath on Jesus?

The Gift of Repentance

When Paul talks about the sin problem in Romans 7, he paints the same picture we addressed. Man is hopeless, unable to obey, and standing before the wrath of God. Paul’s answer, however, found in Romans 8, says nothing about appeasing God’s wrath. It says Jesus took care of our inability to do what is good.

For what the Law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God did. By sending his own Son in the image of sinful flesh and because of sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the righteous requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. (Rom. 8:2-4)

Paul also tells us in several places that Jesus, by his death, transformed us into righteous beings, not just because God imputes righteousness to them but because they live righteously. (1 Jn. 3:7 makes it clear that the two go hand in hand.)

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live sensibly, righteously, and godly in this present age, looking for that blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus the King, who gave himself for us so that he might purify for himself his own special people, zealous for good works. (Tit. 2:11-14)

Finally, did the apostles preach a message of belief that Jesus paid for our sins, or did they preach repentance?

Then Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus the King for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 2:38)

[Paul speaking] “I showed first to those of Damascus, and at Jerusalem, and throughout the coasts of Judea, and to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God and works suitable to repentance.” (Acts 26:20)

Perhaps the most conclusive verse on what was required to reconcile sinful man with an angry God is Acts 11:18:

So God has granted to the Gentiles also the repentance that leads to life.

We evangelicals don’t like to put too much emphasis on the things Jesus taught because, well, he lived before he died. In other words, since his death and resurrection changed everything, maybe we should be nervous that the One who gave us the New Covenant did not teach from it.

I’m going to take the huge risk of pulling from Jesus’ teachings, though, and I will point out that Jesus used the word often. Matthew 4:17 says that “from that time forward” Jesus was preaching repentance because the kingdom of heaven had drawn near. He said that the very reason he came was to call sinners to repentance (Matt. 9:13).

So, with all that I have written above, I am going to suggest that God, collaborating with his Son, came up with an alternative to recompensing God for all the misdeeds of man. Instead, he found a way to give to mankind the grace of repentance so that they could lay hold of the promises of God’s mercy.

Big Questions

What about all the passages that tie the forgiveness of sins to Jesus’ blood? If repentance is all that was needed, then why did Jesus have to die?

These are good questions.

First, if repentance was all that was needed, Jesus would have to die to free us from death. His atonement involved completely cleaning up the human race, making it anew through faith in him, and breaking death’s power over us.

The passages that tie the forgiveness of sins to Jesus’ blood are a different story. They are important not to leave out because I have not told the whole story.

This post is a long post; it is 1628 words at this point. Nonetheless, it is nowhere long enough to really cover all Jesus did.

I am focused in this post on the problem we see: sinful man and wrathful God. That was corrected not by correcting the wrath of God, but by giving repentance to man.

Bestowing repentance and righteousness on man is no small task. To do it, he did not just vanquish sin, death, and the devil; he also instituted a new covenant between man and God. He gave the Holy Spirit to each and every member of that covenant. He allows them to partake of his death and resurrection.

Jesus started at the beginning. His death is tied to the forgiveness of sins, which is why the Scriptures say it over and over. We get to partake of his death, wash away our old sins, be delivered from the Law, and be set free to live as God’s child.

The atonement is huge. I am sure I will always be found lacking in trying to explain it.

When it comes to particulars, though, there are things we can know. When sinful man stood before wrathful God, God chose to send his Son to rescue sinful man and give him the gift of repentance. He did not choose to find a way to appease his own wrath, except insofar that bringing man to repentance has always appeased his wrath.

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Fulness of the Law (video)

I’d guess that almost no one knows how the early Christians dealt with Matthew 5:17: “I did not come to abolish the Law, but to bring it to fullness.”

The evangelical interpretation of that passage relies on a faulty translation of the verse that makes Paul’s use of the Law (1 Cor. 9) puzzling. The early Christians had a completely different one:

Note: Somewhere along the line, this explanation of the Law and how Jesus brought it to fullness was forgotten, apparently by everyone. (I’d better check on Orthodox doctrine; they keep surprising me in the things they’ve retained.)

There’s another topic that has been forgotten. There’s been a move lately to find and restore “the Gospel of the Kingdom.” No one has done a better job of that than Matthew Bryan in Forgotten Gospel, due to be released February 2. Matthew even traces the history of how we forgot Jesus’ central message, the Kingdom of God.

You can even get a sample chapter by signing up for our publishing newsletter. Just follow the link above.

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The Atonement: Q&A

In my previous post, “Tackling the Atonement,” I told a story about Jesus becoming man, entering into and sharing our slavery and bondage, then undoing all the things Adam put on us as humans because he obeyed rather than disobeying like Adam did.

I told how Jesus obeyed all the way to death, to the thrill of the devil, but the devil was not so thrilled to find out that death could not hold him. Jesus, by undoing what Adam did and by overthrowing death and the devil, freed us from sin, death, and the devil. I even listed out some early Christian quotes teaching the same thing.

That story was the product of my being asked questions about the atonement as I see it. With the above idea as a basis, I would like to go on to other questions I was asked.

Are atonement, redemption, and propitiation the same thing?

Atonement and propitiation (which may not be a good translation of hilasmos) are virtually the same thing. Atonement is a word that was formed from at-one-ment. It is two people coming together. Propitiation is the removal of what hinders that at-one-ment.

Redemption is a completely different thought. Redemption is a purchase. In the case of Scripture, Jesus’ purchased us out of slavery to sin, death, and the devil. The price Jesus paid was himself. His rescue, his redemption, was many-faceted, but Scripture does make some clear statements about it.

  • The forgiveness of sins is called redemption. (Eph. 1:7).
  • We are redeemed out from under the Law of Moses. (Gal. 4:5)
  • We are redeemed from the curse of the Law. (Gal. 3:13)
  • Our bodies will be redeemed at the resurrection. (Rom. 8:23)
  • We are redeemed from iniquity so that we are zealous for good works. (Tit. 2:13-14)
  • We are redeemed, in the sense of purchased, so that we are owned by God. (Eph. 1:14; Rev. 5:9)

If redemption is a purchase, to whom was the purchase price paid?

This we addressed yesterday. We were slaves. Redemption and ransom prices for slaves are paid to the former slave owner. This would suggest that Jesus paid a price to the devil, our slave owner. The price was himself, an exchange of himself for us, but the devil could not hold onto his new slave. He tried to wrap Jesus in death, but Jesus bound him, overthrew both him and death, then plundered his house.

It’s not a good idea to take into captivity someone more powerful than you. Jesus was more powerful than the devil, and as a result, he “took captivity captive.”

Does the blood of Jesus act like an antidote?

Yes. Just as Adam sinned and, as a result, death reigned over all his descendants, so Jesus obeyed, bringing righteousness and life to his descendants. Jesus’ descendants are his descendants through believing the Gospel, not lineage or biological descent (Rom. 5:17-19).

I think the best picture of this is Paul’s response to Romans 7. He describes Romans 7, the law of sin and death, and then at the start of chapter 8 he tells us that not only are we freed from condemnation, but we are freed from the law of sin and death itself.

How did that happen? Paul does not explain, at least not in any way I understand, but he goes on to say that “what the Law could not do, God did” (Rom. 8:3). He then tells us that the way God freed us from the law of sin and death was by sending his Son “in the likeness of sinful flesh” and “as an offering for sin.”

What’s terrible, for me at least, is he explains no further. He does tell us the result of that freedom, which is that the righteousnes of the Law will be fulfilled in us if we walk by the Spirit.

Jesus became like us, taking on sinful flesh and purging us, by obedience, from the disease that is in our flesh: sin. His whole life was an offering for sin, culminating in the final offering, all the way to death.

Thus, when we surrender ourselves to King Jesus, the Son of the living God, we receive the antidote to our old disease of sin and death. “The Law of the Spirit of Life in King Jesus has set us free from the law of sin and death.”

Is the blood of Jesus a necessary sacrifice for the blood to be poured out for us to receive life?

Yes! The bondage that took us because of Adam’s disobedience was not just sin, but death. More than anything, we needed deliverance from death so that we could live. Jesus, then, had to take on flesh and die, so that through death he could conquer the one who had the power of death, that is, the devil (Heb. 2:14-15).

Early Christians Again

I hope I have been showing you as we go that this is in the Scriptures, but is this kind of teaching really what the apostles handed on to the churches they left behind?

Let us look steadfastly to the blood of Christ and see how precious that blood is to God, which, having been shed for our salvation, has set the grace of repentance before the whole world. Let us turn to every age that has passed and learn that, from generation to generation, the Lord has granted a place of repentance to all who would be converted to him. (1 Clement 7. AD 95-96)

We evangelicals usually believe that Jesus’ death was to “pay a penalty,” that is to receive our punishment in our place so that we could go free just because no more penalty is due.

Notice, though, that when Clement tells us to look to the blood of the King, he tells us that it brought “the grace of repentance” before the whole world. Jesus vanquished sin so that we who were in bondage to it could be free from it. Being freed from sin, then the possibility of repentance is set before us.

This is not just an early Christian thought. It is in the Scriptures. Acts 11:18 tells us that what was given to the Gentiles when Peter preached to Cornelius was “repentance leading to life.” Paul described his whole message as “repent and do works suitable for repentance” in Acts 26:20.

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