I got a letter from Google Incorporation in London saying that I won a drawing that I never entered!

"Wherein your email address emerged as one of the online Winning (sic) emails in the 2nd category and therefore attracted a cash reward of ^J950,000.00."

I can only assume that Google in the UK doesn’t have as much money as Google in the US, and so they are unable to obtain a computer that can produce a "£" symbol, which is the 3rd listed symbol under "common symbols" in my Thunderbird email program.

However, in case I couldn’t understand the J they used in its place, which they did at least put in superscript, they added words: "Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand Great British Pounds Sterling’s."

I’m pretty sure that the apostrophe and s at the end are typical Great British practice, as is the use of "Great British," rather than just British by itself. "Great British" only sounds weird to me because I’m an American, thus establishing even further that this a legitimate email from Google Incorporation UK.

I am also confident that the apostrophe and s in "sterling’s" are typical Great British practice because they also used it in telling me that they will need "information’s" from me to process my "won prize." Of course, the information’s is only required to avoid "double claiming and unwarranted abuse of the program" (in contrast to warranted abuse of the program, which wouldn’t require any information’s).

I’ll keep all of you updated after my "claims is processed." Until then, I have to keep my winning details confidential to, once again, "avoid double claiming and unwarranted d abuse of this program by unscrupulous elements."

I’m thinking that they’re referring to Beryllium, which is definitely one of the more unscrupulous elements. Individual Beryllium atoms have been found in two places at once.

This is further indicated by the fact that this unwarranted abuse is called "d abuse," which I judge to be a reference to Beryllium’s spot as the 4th element in the periodic table.