Yeah, I Won Over a Million Bucks!

I got a letter from Google Incorporation in London saying that I won a drawing that I never entered!

"Wherein your email address emerged as one of the online Winning (sic) emails in the 2nd category and therefore attracted a cash reward of J950,000.00."

I can only assume that Google in the UK doesn’t have as much money as Google in the US, and so they are unable to obtain a computer that can produce a "£" symbol, which is the 3rd listed symbol under "common symbols" in my Thunderbird email program.

However, in case I couldn’t understand the J they used in its place, which they did at least put in superscript, they added words: "Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand Great British Pounds Sterling’s."

I’m pretty sure that the apostrophe and s at the end are typical Great British practice, as is the use of "Great British," rather than just British by itself. "Great British" only sounds weird to me because I’m an American, thus establishing even further that this a legitimate email from Google Incorporation UK.

I am also confident that the apostrophe and s in "sterling’s" are typical Great British practice because they also used it in telling me that they will need "information’s" from me to process my "won prize." Of course, the information’s is only required to avoid "double claiming and unwarranted abuse of the program" (in contrast to warranted abuse of the program, which wouldn’t require any information’s).

I’ll keep all of you updated after my "claims is processed." Until then, I have to keep my winning details confidential to, once again, "avoid double claiming and unwarranted d abuse of this program by unscrupulous elements."

I’m thinking that they’re referring to Beryllium, which is definitely one of the more unscrupulous elements. Individual Beryllium atoms have been found in two places at once.

This is further indicated by the fact that this unwarranted abuse is called "d abuse," which I judge to be a reference to Beryllium’s spot as the 4th element in the periodic table.

About Paul Pavao

I am married, the father of six, and currently the grandfather of two. I run a business, live in a Christian community, teach, and I am learning to disciple others better than I have ever been able to before. I believe God has gifted me to restore proper foundations to the Christian faith. In order to ensure that I do not become a heretic, I read the early church fathers from the second and third centuries. They were around when all the churches founded by the apostles were in unity. I also try to stay honest and open. I argue and discuss these foundational doctrines with others to make sure my teaching really lines up with Scripture. I am encouraged by the fact that the several missionaries and pastors that I know well and admire as holy men love the things I teach. I hope you will be encouraged too. I am indeed tearing up old foundations created by tradition in order to re-establish the foundations found in Scripture and lived on by the churches during their 300 years of unity.
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3 Responses to Yeah, I Won Over a Million Bucks!

  1. shammahbn says:

    I got a new one the other day. This one was in a comment section somewhere on one of my web sites saying that the person was a rep for Victor Pavao of Canada and wondering if I was a relative. It was a take on the old "this Nigerian government person needs to hide 15 million dollars in your account and you can keep 2.5 million" scam.

  2. Benjamyn says:

    If I won even once out of the 100 times pop-ups said I've won, I'd be set for a while.

  3. allison says:


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