On Dealing with Insecurities, Part 2

Yesterday’s Part 1 to this post was called "Dealing with Mental Illness," not "Dealing with Insecurities."

Yesterday, I had a point to make about ignoring that sort of mental illness.

Today, though I want to talk about security and the family of God.

This post started out as an addendum to yesterday’s post, but it got long enough and off the subject enough that I thought it deserved its own post.

So here goes:

Dealing with Insecurities, Part 2

Yesterday, I called my post “light-hearted.” Far from being light-hearted, that post made me nauseous. I don’t talk about my feelings very well, and I don’t disparage myself very well unless I’m just joking around.

Too proud, I guess! 🙂

I wrote yesterday’s post just in case there were others as messed up as me, and afterward I wanted to go hide in a closet and peek out the door to see if anyone was going to come in and comfort me. (That’s not a very mature thing to do, so I didn’t do that.)

Okay, having said all that, now the manly side of me can shrug all this off, make sure everyone knows I only wrote that post to help others who might struggle with those kind of thoughts, and act real secure … at such times it’s important to laugh the discussion off with a deep, resonant, manly laugh.

The fact is, though, that I can laugh it off because my insecurities are driven out by wonderful love and fellowship from people who know everything I said yesterday is true, but who don’t think I’m stupid, insane, or childish—or if they do, then they must not care. I don’t have to worry about those feelings because they neither control me nor get hidden in a cage, silently affecting all my actions in the background.

We all need that kind of love, and that’s why the church is so important. For us to walk in the fullness of what God has given us to do, we have to grow up—even if we do that growing up when we’re 40, 50, or 60 years old—in the wonderful, loving environment of the family of God.

The Family of God and Insecurities

The family of God is not a Sunday morning meeting in suits.

Now would be a good time to talk about how to either start or be a part of the real family of God—not a meeting; not a club; but people who act like family to one another because their spiritual kin are more important to them than their physical kin.

But I write about that a lot.

Today I just want it to sink in that it’s so important.

Most men are like me, full of insecurities. Most men—and unfortunately, especially Christians—are not like me, in that they don’t have intimate friends loving and nurturing them spiritually so that their insecurities don’t overrun them.

One of the most amazing revelations of church life, and there’s been many, is that most men who come to the church are overrun by fear; fear affects every aspect of their personalities, and their bravest, most macho behavior is usually 100% fear-based.

I don’t think I have time to explain how true that is. I can give you an example, though.

We met one really macho, sharp-tongued, not-afraid-to-say-anything Christian guy a few years back. As we got to know him, it slowly became apparent that the reason he was so sharp-tongued is that he was scared to talk to people! Amazingly, what looked like “I’m not afraid to talk about anything” was really “I have to offend you quickly because I’m afraid to talk about almost anything.”

So many men are just that way. They growl their way past their insecurities, unable to love lest they look bad while loving.

The answer my friend, is not prayer. The answer is to be exhorted, comforted, and encouraged every day, while it’s called today, lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of insecurity … oops, sin (Heb. 3:13).

That’s what the church needs to offer, not just good teaching or good singing, and especially not a beautiful building that we foolishly call the church.

About Paul Pavao

I am married, the father of six, and currently the grandfather of two. I run a business, live in a Christian community, teach, and I am learning to disciple others better than I have ever been able to before. I believe God has gifted me to restore proper foundations to the Christian faith. In order to ensure that I do not become a heretic, I read the early church fathers from the second and third centuries. They were around when all the churches founded by the apostles were in unity. I also try to stay honest and open. I argue and discuss these foundational doctrines with others to make sure my teaching really lines up with Scripture. I am encouraged by the fact that the several missionaries and pastors that I know well and admire as holy men love the things I teach. I hope you will be encouraged too. I am indeed tearing up old foundations created by tradition in order to re-establish the foundations found in Scripture and lived on by the churches during their 300 years of unity.
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2 Responses to On Dealing with Insecurities, Part 2

  1. John Cullimore says:

    That couldn't be more true.

    I was telling another fellow the other day, who wrestles with his thoughts and serious paranoia all the time, that the only difference he and I had was that I'm talking to my best friends every day about the stupid stuff that comes in my brain.

    It's not that I don't think all the same thoughts that this guy did… I do, and I do often. It's just that I'm learning to take advantage of the value of friends who can listen and hear out my madness… and then, tell me it's nothing and pick me up. It's great.

    We don't have to even be alone in the kingdom. And we don't have to be victim to our messed up minds either.

    Their is great freedom among brothers.

    • shammahbn says:

      Yep. We all think we're the only weird ones, and it's a frightening thought.

      Well, for some people it's a comforting thought, and their best friend is their messed-up mind. Gets them attention.

      We can do better than that.

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