“Alternative” (read “Fake,” “Fraudulent,” or “False”) Christian Histories

Okay, I just put up a blog minutes ago. Rather than go edit it immediately (and probably too quickly) as I normally do, I’m going to rant about false, fraudulent, fake, feigning, and phony historians like Elaine Pagels and Dan Brown.

Fume, fume, fuss, fuss …

Just gets my ire up! Listen to this utter nonsense and blasphemy from some inventor of imaginary history:

Pauline/Roman Christians: When the Roman-backed instance of Christianity went in search of the ancient centers of Christianity, they discovered to their horror that the Ebionites and Gnostics pre-dated them. Their un-Christian answer was to edit verses, burn books, arrest and harass the other poverty-stricken Christians until no opposition was left. The form of Christianity that we have inherited from the Roman Empire is far from what Christianity originally was.

This voice for the devil was actually published. He has the amazingly apt name of Vexen Crabtree, and his book is Types of Christianity: Who Were the Original Christians?

Isn’t it amazing that after 2,000 years, Vexen Crabtree managed to dig up these verses, books, and records that the Pauline Christians burned! Thank God this person came along to reveal the truth to all of us!

Excuse me a second, someone’s telling me something.

Oh, no verses?

No books? No records?

What, was Vexen Crabtree there? This person’s immortal or something? Maybe this person had a vision or a revelation from God?

How do these people get published? They just get to write whatever they want and invent history?

Where did Vexen Crabtree get his/her information from? He invented it!

Some Useful Applications of This Rant of Mine

1. When someone tells you all the evidence has been destroyed:

… then what they’re telling you is a fantasy invented in their own mind.

You only find history through evidence, and when all the evidence has been destroyed, then no one knows the history; especially the idiot who’s trying to con you into believing his latest conspiracy theory.

2. If 1st or 2nd century Christians had successfully obliterated some sect …

then they’d be bragging about it!

1st and 2nd century Christians had no political power. They had only the strength of their arguments for the truth. Thus, they were happy to speak and write against heretics.

You’d know that they found heretical sects when they got to a city because they’d tell you about overcoming them by the preaching of the Gospel!

3. If 4th century Christians or later obliterated some sect …

… then nothing Vexen Crabtree says would apply. Christians filled the entire Roman empire in the 1st century. They didn’t have any political power, however, until the 4th century. So they couldn’t have burned books and driven out heretics until that time period or later.

If they persecuted heretics in the 4th century–and they did, persecuting pagans and sects alike–that’s bad, but it has nothing to do with Vexen Crabtree’s premise. The Christians were already everywhere in the 4th century. They couldn’t find “Ebionites and Gnostics” there first in the 4th century.

Final Note

Here’s a guy making the historically ignorant claim that “Rome-backed Christians” found out that “Ebionites and Gnostics” beat them to “the ancient centers of Christianity,” and someone actually published that nonsense!

To this day, there is not one gnostic writing that is even probably written in the first century. There is not one comment by any Christian suggesting this conspiracy invented by Mr. Crabtree.

Simply put, this history is invented from thin air and wishful thinking.

I have a page on gnosticism at my Christian history site. I recommend a book there that addresses all the phony history invented by Elaine Pagels, Dan Brown, and others.

I can personally tell you that none of their fantasy histories makes a lick of sense in light of the history we do know. They have to rewrite the history of the early Christian churches, which is certain and clear, in order to fit in the history they invent.

It irritates the stew out of me that they get published, and, worse, that they get publicity.

I hope you’ll take the time to learn the truth; it’s the surest defense against error.

About Paul Pavao

I am married, the father of six, and currently the grandfather of two. I run a business, live in a Christian community, teach, and I am learning to disciple others better than I have ever been able to before. I believe God has gifted me to restore proper foundations to the Christian faith. In order to ensure that I do not become a heretic, I read the early church fathers from the second and third centuries. They were around when all the churches founded by the apostles were in unity. I also try to stay honest and open. I argue and discuss these foundational doctrines with others to make sure my teaching really lines up with Scripture. I am encouraged by the fact that the several missionaries and pastors that I know well and admire as holy men love the things I teach. I hope you will be encouraged too. I am indeed tearing up old foundations created by tradition in order to re-establish the foundations found in Scripture and lived on by the churches during their 300 years of unity.
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3 Responses to “Alternative” (read “Fake,” “Fraudulent,” or “False”) Christian Histories

  1. Gale says:

    Well, save your anger for a better battle, because throughout history false people/doctrines/letters/etc. have been slipping through the cracks. Just look at Paul’s letters…half of them are not even written by Paul, which is why half of them seem contradictory to Paul’s other letters and the teachings of Jesus!

    • Shammah says:

      False things have slipped through a lot, including the things you’re saying here. There’s nothing in Paul’s letters that contradicts the teachings of Jesus. There are MANY things in Protestant interpretation of Paul’s letters that contradict Jesus’ teachings, but nothing I’ve ever found in the early Christian interpretation of his letters that contradict Jesus. (I’ve never found that assertion difficult to defend.)

      The best that skeptics can say is that because it’s 2,000 years later, it’s difficult to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Paul wrote all those letters. However, there is no real evidence that he didn’t write all of them except in the case of the pastoral epistles, where arguments are limited to time frame and textual arguments. The time frame arguments are weak because the pastoral epistles are quoted very early in Christian writings, early second century.

  2. John Turner says:

    Vex is a idiot. He pulls facts out of his [bleeped]. I read his web-site and cross-checked his “facts” and were most of them wrong. Don’t worry about what he says: and these days anybody can get published.

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